Monthly Archives: April 2017

Faith & Sexuality (homosexuality or heterosexuality) can coexist Part 2- IIM031

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

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In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, Kelly shares her experience of her conversation with her father.  Despite a very tough conversation, she resolved many challenges that she experienced with her father.

Faith plays a big role in Kelly’s life and we discussed about the inner critique that shows up for a person who is in same-sex relationship and grew up in a religious family.  It’s an on-going challenge but Kelly & Sheena are taking steps toward creating a harmonious space for themselves.

To get the full story, listen to Part 1 of this interview.

I welcome you comments and look forward to bringing you many more episodes that cover stories encompassed with various emotions.

 

Investing in a wedding ring? – Why? Our Story

Since we had exceptional circumstances of how our wedding came about (story in Episode 3), neither one of us proposed to each other under the moonlight or even under a light fixture somewhere.  At the time, my now husband and I decided to get married, I didn’t like wearing jewelry so I was surprised when he asked me what type of ring I would like.  In my true Aman fashion, I fought hard against the tradition of wearing a ring.  Eventually, after understanding the true meaning of the symbolic gesture of wearing rings, I said that I would get him a ring if he wanted but he could just give me the money and I would invest that (yes, very Indian of me).  Though he doesn’t remember it now, at the time of my comment, he laughed AT me.  I thought I could get him to think like an Indian and place value where it belonged.

When that didn’t work, I made a deal that if he designed a ring for me then I would take it but I didn’t want him to just go somewhere and buy it or manipulate the stone or something.  I wanted it designed from scratch.  Well, I must have made an impression on him as he took on the challenge of designing the ring for me.  All my attempts of getting out of this wedding ring situation failed as he started the process of designing this ring.

I remember him asking me many questions and I had to dig deep to give him honest answers because he was doing something so important (for him).  My ring is made out of silver metal, with waves on both sides of a tear drop diamond tilted a bit in the center (image below).  He chose all these elements as he probed my views of the world and material during the design process.

I see silver as a gentle and soft metal (in my opinion) unlike gold, which I consider as a flashy metal (very non-Indian of me).  Waves symbolize water as my love for water and fear of drowning in it as well.  How ironic that it totally captured my views about love and marriage?  Though I am not fond of diamond, he chose diamond as he already had the stone and he saw no other stone that showed my strong character and my faithfulness toward family and friends.

I couldn’t get out of having to spend energy or money on designing Otto’s ring as that’s what he wanted.  Rather than asking him questions, I put my psychology degree to work.  I had invested in it so much so finally I had to make use of this degree and I like to do what I like to do so there was no need for interrogating him.  I chose platinum as nothing can corrode Otto and he is determined human being who knows what he wants and gets it.  He has big personality with powerful existence but has to accommodate to fit within the limits of what others can understand, thus the coil in that goes in a circle fitted in the middle of solid metal.  The stone was just because it was purple, his favorite color.  It was all what I thought of him but he really liked his ring and I didn’t see my ring until the time he put it on my finger and I was very pleased with the results.

Everything that we have has a story and now it’s your turn.  What’s a story you want to share?

Our Wedding Rings

Side note: very pleased with our jewelry designer.  He’s a master craftsman…

Love being in your own skin – IIM030

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

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In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, we touch a few different topics, including accepting one’s own sexuality and addressing all the judgements of the community and then longing for the acceptance of family.  It took years for both Kelly and Sheena, my guests today, to accept and acknowledge the beautiful beings the were (and are).  Many of you may understand the emotional and psychological challenges one faces when he/she is different than the “normality” one is taught growing up.  I am humbled by the courage & perseverance of these two amazing women as they still have to walk on eggshells around some people despite being together for 8 years.

I read an interview by director of Spa night, where he said, “Homosexuality is a topic a lot of Asian American cultures, especially first and second generation[s], don’t want to deal with it. Whether if it’s because of religion or tradition, it’s hard to talk about.” I think it’s not only Asian cultures but also Western cultures where homosexuality is looked at as a unhealthy condition and in my opinion it’s a cowardly way to reject something that they didn’t grow up with.  It maybe fear of change or lack of courage to really try to understand human race.  I will say it out loud that it’s a shame that many people haven’t grown up yet and questioned that other than procreation why is heterosexuality the “right path”.

Enough of my rant.  Let’s move to important things…

Kelly & Sheena share their story of their online meeting that led to Ohio pride parade experience and now to talks of marriage.  Both share their experiences of their conversations with their parents about their sexuality.  As tough as those conversations were the couple made it through and have taken a place as a member of the family in each other’s families.

Today you will get to hear Part 1 of my interview with this lovely couple.  Come back next week to listen to Part 2 of the story.

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Mentions in the episode:

Columbus, Ohio Pride Parade