Faith & Sexuality (homosexuality or heterosexuality) can coexist Part 2- IIM031

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

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In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, Kelly shares her experience of her conversation with her father.  Despite a very tough conversation, she resolved many challenges that she experienced with her father.

Faith plays a big role in Kelly’s life and we discussed about the inner critique that shows up for a person who is in same-sex relationship and grew up in a religious family.  It’s an on-going challenge but Kelly & Sheena are taking steps toward creating a harmonious space for themselves.

To get the full story, listen to Part 1 of this interview.

I welcome you comments and look forward to bringing you many more episodes that cover stories encompassed with various emotions.

 

Investing in a wedding ring? – Why? Our Story

Since we had exceptional circumstances of how our wedding came about (story in Episode 3), neither one of us proposed to each other under the moonlight or even under a light fixture somewhere.  At the time, my now husband and I decided to get married, I didn’t like wearing jewelry so I was surprised when he asked me what type of ring I would like.  In my true Aman fashion, I fought hard against the tradition of wearing a ring.  Eventually, after understanding the true meaning of the symbolic gesture of wearing rings, I said that I would get him a ring if he wanted but he could just give me the money and I would invest that (yes, very Indian of me).  Though he doesn’t remember it now, at the time of my comment, he laughed AT me.  I thought I could get him to think like an Indian and place value where it belonged.

When that didn’t work, I made a deal that if he designed a ring for me then I would take it but I didn’t want him to just go somewhere and buy it or manipulate the stone or something.  I wanted it designed from scratch.  Well, I must have made an impression on him as he took on the challenge of designing the ring for me.  All my attempts of getting out of this wedding ring situation failed as he started the process of designing this ring.

I remember him asking me many questions and I had to dig deep to give him honest answers because he was doing something so important (for him).  My ring is made out of silver metal, with waves on both sides of a tear drop diamond tilted a bit in the center (image below).  He chose all these elements as he probed my views of the world and material during the design process.

I see silver as a gentle and soft metal (in my opinion) unlike gold, which I consider as a flashy metal (very non-Indian of me).  Waves symbolize water as my love for water and fear of drowning in it as well.  How ironic that it totally captured my views about love and marriage?  Though I am not fond of diamond, he chose diamond as he already had the stone and he saw no other stone that showed my strong character and my faithfulness toward family and friends.

I couldn’t get out of having to spend energy or money on designing Otto’s ring as that’s what he wanted.  Rather than asking him questions, I put my psychology degree to work.  I had invested in it so much so finally I had to make use of this degree and I like to do what I like to do so there was no need for interrogating him.  I chose platinum as nothing can corrode Otto and he is determined human being who knows what he wants and gets it.  He has big personality with powerful existence but has to accommodate to fit within the limits of what others can understand, thus the coil in that goes in a circle fitted in the middle of solid metal.  The stone was just because it was purple, his favorite color.  It was all what I thought of him but he really liked his ring and I didn’t see my ring until the time he put it on my finger and I was very pleased with the results.

Everything that we have has a story and now it’s your turn.  What’s a story you want to share?

Our Wedding Rings

Side note: very pleased with our jewelry designer.  He’s a master craftsman…

Love being in your own skin – IIM030

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

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In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, we touch a few different topics, including accepting one’s own sexuality and addressing all the judgements of the community and then longing for the acceptance of family.  It took years for both Kelly and Sheena, my guests today, to accept and acknowledge the beautiful beings the were (and are).  Many of you may understand the emotional and psychological challenges one faces when he/she is different than the “normality” one is taught growing up.  I am humbled by the courage & perseverance of these two amazing women as they still have to walk on eggshells around some people despite being together for 8 years.

I read an interview by director of Spa night, where he said, “Homosexuality is a topic a lot of Asian American cultures, especially first and second generation[s], don’t want to deal with it. Whether if it’s because of religion or tradition, it’s hard to talk about.” I think it’s not only Asian cultures but also Western cultures where homosexuality is looked at as a unhealthy condition and in my opinion it’s a cowardly way to reject something that they didn’t grow up with.  It maybe fear of change or lack of courage to really try to understand human race.  I will say it out loud that it’s a shame that many people haven’t grown up yet and questioned that other than procreation why is heterosexuality the “right path”.

Enough of my rant.  Let’s move to important things…

Kelly & Sheena share their story of their online meeting that led to Ohio pride parade experience and now to talks of marriage.  Both share their experiences of their conversations with their parents about their sexuality.  As tough as those conversations were the couple made it through and have taken a place as a member of the family in each other’s families.

Today you will get to hear Part 1 of my interview with this lovely couple.  Come back next week to listen to Part 2 of the story.

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Mentions in the episode:

Columbus, Ohio Pride Parade

 

Divorces & Interracial Marriages – IIM029

Divorce rate in interracial marriages

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

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In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, I answer a question that many people have either emailed me about or friends have asked me.  When I get into discussions about interracial marriages, I get asked, “Is the divorce rate pretty high in interracial marriages?” or “What’s the divorce rate in interracial marriages?”

You will hear my response through my experience.  I talk about:

  • Vulnerabilities in interracial marriages.  The outside negative influence can bring a lot of chaos into marriages.  Think of cases where parents or family members were not happy with the union from the start.
  • Importance of Code of Conduct in a marriage.
  • Forever changing lives and to adapt to the changes in your partner and accepting those changes.  People don’t stay the same.
  • Understanding that the person you marry is not necessarily going to stay the same as he/she becomes a parent.  Life events bring different qualities out in a person so be acknowledging those qualities and making the best of new situations.

If you have questions and you need any help, please do let me know and I would be happy to provide guidance by sharing my experiences with you.  Feel free to share this with your friends or family members who can find some insights from this story.

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

If you have a story to share, contact me and provide a little information about you.  You can also connect with me on Instagram or Facebook.  And how about just email me at indianinterracialmarriages@gmail.com

Common Question Answered IIM028

Convincing parents to accept non-Indian partner

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

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In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, I answer one of the most common questions people emailed me in Season 1, “How do I convince my parents to let me be with my non-Indian partner?”

You will hear my response through my story rather than my opinion.  I believe best answers to questions come from experiences rather than opinions.  I never thought of convincing my parents but I did believe that it was important to share my news with my parents in a manner that offered them the space to hear me out.  I know that it’s important to help people understand my point of view but also not make them wrong for having an opinion that is different than mine.

At the end of the day, parents love their kids and they want their kids to be happy.  Not knowing another culture and faith creates some level of fear for parents for the happiness of their kids so they reject anything that they don’t understand.  It’s understandable.  But I talk to people how I like to be talked to this helps me in understanding and being patient with others.  I know that by providing other people the opportunity to be heard and helping them choose, I can forgo taking the responsibility of their feelings about my choice.

This episode shares my experience and my thoughts on how I see this gift of life and my belief in giving this life justice by creating happy life for myself.  Yes, my choices have brought challenges for me but it’s easier for me to handle the responsibilities of those challenges than if I was living a life chosen by others.  There are compromises that I make and those compromises are chosen by me and not by anyone else.

Hope sharing my experience on this matter will help you navigate some of the challenges in your life.  I hope you find the courage and love within you to really be honest with your families and give them the opportunity to choose to be happy for you or not.

If you have questions and you need any help, please do let me know and I would be happy to provide guidance by sharing my experiences with you.  Feel free to share this with your friends or family members who can find some insights from this story.

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

If you have a story to share, contact me and provide a little information about you.  You can also connect with me on Instagram or Facebook.  And how about just email me at indianinterracialmarriages@gmail.com

Just enjoying my time here….

We have made a few changes

As we get into Season 2 of the podcast, it was appropriate to update the website and add a few things that makes it easy for you to connect with me.  So here they are:

  1. Now you can leave a voice message to me – Just click on the little microphone on the right hand side of any page on this website and the when you receive a pop-up message to start recording, click that and that’s it.
  2. Ask Aman – You have questions that are challenging and you are looking for figure out a way to get through a difficult, just connect with me.  Go to Ask Aman page and leave me an email and/or fill out the survey on the page.  There’s information on the page that you can read to learn what actions to take to connect with me.
  3. Subscribe to the newsletter – On the right hand side of the main page, you will see Subscribe to our mailing list area, just enter your email and click Subscribe and you are done. This will allow you to receive information that I will be sending on weekly basis.
  4. Leave a Rate & Review on iTunes – You see the bar at the bottom of your screen, just click that and leave a review for the show.  Or you can Click Here to rate this podcast so more people can find this great content.

And that’s what is new for now.  I will be updating the website to include more information as you request, so come back soon to see what’s new.

 

Moving forward and on Francesca & Raghav Part 2 – IIM027

Episode 027 / Traveling together

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

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In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, we address Francesca and Raghav’s plans for the future in the U.S.  Francesca shares wedding plans and continuing to build a relationship with Raghav’s family.

I wish them the best with the new beginning and the strength to continue on this journey of being great partners.

If you haven’t listened to Part 1 of the story.  Please share your thoughts in the comments.

You may connect with the couple on their Instagram.

Francesca and Raghav

Engineering a life together – Francesca & Raghav Part 1 – IIM026

Episode 026 / Really mixed it up

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, we address Francesca’s background and her family history.  Francesca and Raghav share their story of first date and then introducing each other to their respective families.  Though, bringing Raghav to meet Francesca’s family was fairly smooth, we get to talk about the uphill climb of having Raghav’s mother understanding his choice of being with Francesca.  It was one of the most difficult episodes for me as I had to hold the space for Francesca to share a really tough subject.

Being rejected just for being who you are is really tough on your soul.  I can imagine the pain that the couple endure everyday but they have committed to soldier on.

My words can’t give justice to the emotions in Francesca’s voice as she shares her experiences of meeting Raghav’s family.  And Raghav is such a supportive, loving, and kind human being and a great partner to Francesca.

Come back next week to listen to Part 2 of the story.  Please share your thoughts in the comments.

You may connect with the couple on their Instagram.

 

Holi festival

The business continues – Nancy & Suman Part 2-IIM025

Episode 025 / Business world is challenging

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, we address talk about the fun and not so fun aspects of having a business.  You have to keep everyone happy and as a leader you have to make sure you are in a good place to create a happy environment.  When there are many personalities to please, personal life and health takes a back seat sometimes.  Even though Suman and Nancy haven’t figured it all out they understand the importance of being in good standing with each other so they can serve their customers and employees with utmost respect.

You will get to hear and understand how shared interests and goals play a crucial role in two people deciding to start a family thank the race, culture, or religion.

Hope you enjoy our conversation and find a few takeaways that can help you or someone in your life.  All I can say is that these two have chosen quite a trek for themselves and I for sure wish them plenty of success and love.

If you missed last week’s episode, here Part 1 of their story.

Visit the couple at their restaurant.  Find all about their specials at www.omindianfusioncuisine.com

You can also find them on Facebook and say hello there.

 

Always looking up….

In business together – Nancy & Suman -Part 1 IIM024

Episode 024 / From business school to real life business

By Amanpreet Kaur – Follow me: Instagram, Facebook

In this episode of Indian Interracial Marriages Podcast, we address the challenges of owning a business together as Nancy & Suman own an Indian Fusion restaurant in Wisconsin.  For them opening a restaurant came right upon the heels of getting married.

Nancy & Suman share their experience of meeting each other and learning about each other’s culture and sharing the love of traveling around the world.  You will get to hear and understand how shared interests and goals play a crucial role in two people deciding to start a family thank the race, culture, or religion.

Hope you enjoy our conversation and find a few takeaways that can help you or someone in your life.  All I can say is that these two have chosen quite a trek for themselves and I for sure wish them plenty of success and love.

Please come back next week to listen to Part 2 of their story.

Visit the couple at their restaurant.  Find all about their specials at www.omindianfusioncuisine.com

You can also find them on Facebook and say hello there.

I know I will be visiting their restaurant for some Dosa when I go to Wisconsin.

Nancy and Suman
Indian colors